I thank my Heavenly Father that He truly is in the business of healing. If it wern't for Him, I'm not sure where I would be ... certainly not on the streets or doing something illegal (I was always a "good girl"), but I know for certain that I would not be following the "road less traveled" and I'd most likely have another man in my world who was not Christ-centered. "Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow." (James 1:17) What a perfect God we serve and I feel so incredibly thankful this morning to be serving Him and no one else. I, personally, have been healed on many different levels over the years, but I have a ways to go. I too often let my emotions get the best of me and get stuck in a rut that I have trouble pulling myself out of ... that is, without Christ at the forefront of my life. He is always there (always has been) and I often feel His presence, but I place Him on the backburner in my life all too often. I tend to value others opinions, what they think of me and believe of me and my actions, on a higher pedestal than I do God's. When I really began to put things in perspective several days ago, I was brought to tears. I feel God doing a work in my heart bigger than He has ever done. I want to be bold and strong and courageous enough to share God's word with both perfect strangers and loved ones. I also desire to be humble in spirit, just like Jesus was. I want so much to be more like Christ ... not perfect like He was, but humble and a giver and a doer ... of all good things, blessing others and being slow to judge and quick to love. I want to be in a constant state of prayer and in God's word so much so that my heart is filled with his love and mercy and grace and peace. Let's just say I have a ways to go, but I'm determined to get there in His right time. I am thankful we are all sinners who have been blessed with the free gift of salvation ... if only we believe and accept His invitation! Someday, I would love (and be very blessed) to go overseas to a foreign land to share Christ's love. I know for a fact that it will be life-changing and I desire to be around those who have nothing, yet so very much at the same time. I imagine that despite the poverty they suffer from, their hearts are wide open to hear the word of God. I want to be a part of that! I really believe I have a heart for missions ... I guess I would just need to get over my fear of flying and being away from the comfort of my peaceful home and loved ones. In time, I hope! Though I also very much believe that the mission field is right in our own backyard. That is exciting to me and reassuring ... God has a purpose for me and I feel like I'm beginning to fulfill it. I have decided to take a break from FB for a long while so that in my loads of free time (haha), I can be seeking Him rather than the opinions and affirmation of others. I am learning to get past my faults (which are many) to a very different place. It seems like my Christian walk has waxed and waned over the years ... not in faith ... but in my desire and willingness to "be still and listen," to pray, to constantly seek and yearn for Him ... everyday! It seems like a struggle sometimes, but a good one nonetheless. This period of growth I am in is good and is strengthening my resolve that I need Him more than anyone else in my life. God is so good and perfect and He truly does provide for our every need!!
I am missing church with my family this morning (and lots of precious 2 and 3 year olds who I would have had the pleasure of spending my morning with) to attend a ceremony of two very precious people to me who are renewing their vows. I am so excited to be there for them and to be sharing in such a joyous and spirit-filled occasion. This woman was the very special lady who helped lead me to Christ, so I'm pretty certain I'll be crying throughout the entire ceremony. I'm too darn emotional, but I guess that's not always a bad thing. Many many blessings to you all on this beautiful Sunday and I do pray that my words are a light to those who choose to read them. And happy superbowl Sunday, too! May my husband's team - the Pittsburgh Steelers - walk away with a victorious win! :)
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